Dealing with Unmet Needs and Feelings

What we do with our feelings is the important decision. Seeking relational fulfillment is a natural desire, however, going about it in the right way is the only way we’ll find long-term satisfaction.

So, what are we supposed to do with all of those feelings and desires that stem from our unfulfilled needs?

Here are three godly and practical suggestions. 

1. Expose Your Feelings to the Light

• Pour out your heart to God. Tell Him about everything you’re thinking and feeling.
• Talk to someone you can trust. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
• Be willing to be accountable—to God and to that safe someone else.

2. Let God Take Control

• Focus on Him, not on the struggle. Remember Peter stepping out of the boat? As long as he kept his eyes on Jesus he could walk on water. As soon as he looked at the churning waves, he began to sink!
• Immerse yourself in His Word, His Truth.
• Ask Him to do what you cannot. 2 Corinthians 3:4b-5
• Praise Him for being the One Who lovingly holds your life in His hands and Who can meet your every need.
• Expect great things from a great God! Thank Him for all He is doing and will do in your life. 1 Corinthians 10:13

3. Remember: It’s a Moment by Moment Choice!

• Determine to choose the “high” way! Not “my” way. We need to determine to make wise choices and to value our relationship with God more than our own desires. Luke 9:23
• Focus on long term joy, contentment, and fellowship with Him! Not short term satisfaction in temporary distractions. Ephesians 3:20
• Choose to “give in” to God—not to temptation!

“The desires still exist, are still strong, natural and human, but they are subjugated to the higher power of the spirit. They are purified and corrected as we live day by day in faith and obedience.” —Elisabeth Elliot, Passion and Purity

As you determine to trust God to meet your unmet desires to feel more cherished, more adored, more accepted, and more valued, you may find something you didn’t expect!

Instead of Him changing your circumstances, He may change the desires of your heart.

Instead of living in a fractured fairy tale, searching for an illusive prince, you just might find a King Who will make you feel loved beyond your wildest dreams!

(You can find more in-depth discussions, answers, and worksheets in Dee’s book, The Divine Romance—Going to God with the Longings Only He Can Fulfill.)

What do you think?

Why is dealing with unmet needs so difficult?

How do you manage your feelings in godly ways?